Runway T-shirts

As much as I love ninjas – in well, comparison to Pirates, that is – they can be real jerks sometimes.

If your family have been killed by ninjas, you’ve got a long, hard road ahead of you if you want some payback. Ninjas are masters of the dark arts, so if you want payback, you’re gonna have to work hard for it.

So if someone could chip in with a bit of cash for karate lessons, that’d be a real helping hand.

Click Here to get a Need Money For Karate Lessons – Ninjas Killed My Family T-shirt

Aww shit! Get your towels ready, it’s about to go down. Everybody in the place hit the fuckin’ deck, but stay on your motherfuckin’ toes. We runnin this, let’s go!

I’m on a Boat!

Awesome. Just, awesome! Did you know this song made it into the top 10 charts in New Zealand? Goes to show the depth of musical talent in that country I suppose…

Click Here to get an I’m On A Boat T-shirt

I literally have the body of a God! Unfortunately, it’s Buddha…

I’m pretty sure that Buddha technically isn’t a god. And, in fact, I’m pretty sure God doesn’t actually have a body. So perhaps this t-shirt is a moot point. Whatever the case, it certainly appears to the lowest common denominator. I certainly got a chuckle out of it.

Now, to spoil everyone’s fun, the real Buddha almost certainly wasn’t a fatty.

Buddha means “one who has achieved a state of perfect enlightenment” and there are several people who have been given the title. The original Buddha, Siddhartha Gautama, lived from around 560BC to 480BC, but it was not until around 127 BC that statues actually depicting him became prevalent. Of course, by then, nobody knew what he really looked like. He was from a noble family, and althought he had been described as tall, slender, and of “manly build” (a lot like me, in fact) he may have grown in girth simply because that is what people expected “Nobles” to look like.

Well what do you know? You might actually learned something today. And from a comedy t-shirt website of all places…

I feel so dirty!

Click Here to get an I Have The Body Of A God T-shirt and worshipers will constantly be kissing your feet.

Get on board the latest Martial Arts craze to sweep the nation – Mixed Martial Arts and Crafts!

Think you’re a hard-ass? Then forget Muay Thai, quit Aikido, and give up on Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. These days, the master ninja strikes quickly, kicks your ass, knits you an ugly sweater, then fades away without a trace.

And don’t forget, you don’t get to start work on pottery until you are a black belt.

Click Here to get a Mixed Martial Arts and Crafts T-shirt

Trying explaining this one to your parents!

That’s not a bad batting average for abstinence, so I really don’t want to rub it in the evangelical’s and fundamentalist’s faces… but it does throw the whole unwanted pregnancy, abortion, Roe vs. Wade, condoms, pope, adoption thing out of whack slightly, when the one out of a billion conceptions from abstinence turns out to be the Messiah. That does tend to blow the remaining 0.01% out of proportion.

Get an Abstinence: 99.99% Effective T-shirt

Wit this t-shirt, you can let everyone know that they shouldn’t judge all white people based just off of you.

And if you don’t already have it, do yourself a favor and grab a copy of the NoFX track Don’t Call Me White, off the Punk In Drublic album:

The connotations wearing my nerves thin
Could it be semantics generating the mess we’re in?
I understand that language breeds stereotype
But what’s the explanation for the malice, for the spite?

I wasn’t brought here, I was born
Circumsized, categorized, allegiance sworn,
Does this mean I have to take such shit
For being fairskinned? No!
I ain’t a part of no conspiracy,
I’m just you’re average Joe.

We’re better off this way
Say what you’re gonna say
So go ahead and label me
An asshole cause I can
Accept responsibility, for what I’ve done
But not for who I am

Click Here to get a Not an Accurate Representation of White People T-shirt

Gringo Star are a big beat, psychedelic, southern rock band from Atlanta, Georgia. I’m pretty sure this shirt has nothing to do with them, but if you ever see this obscure little band somewhere and the boys try and take you for copyright infringement, you didn’t get the shirt from me. Tell them you got the shirt from GI José, along with some gum, cotton candy, a stuffed animal, and an inflatable mallet.

Click Here to get a Gringo Star T-shirt

If you can’t love the one your with, then you probably need to day dream about fighting the man. If you can’t possible live in your current moment, then raise your first in the air and let people know where your heart is: REVOLUTION.

Basically, this is a real cool way to test the waters on being a radical without actually sticking your neck out. Maybe you get into a few conversations. Maybe you explain who the man is and what about that institution you’re fighting. If that feels good. If that feels like your destiny then you go ahead and sign up to fight for the rebels in Latin America or some such thing.

Sign up for the guerilla rebel internship. Click Here to get an I’d Rather Be Fighting The Man T-shirt

I realized this morning that someone I care about is a hug addict. She needs hugs so badly that she is hurting people by using them for getting her “fix” of hugs.

She doesn’t want to hurt me any more than an alcoholic wants to hurt someone who loves him when he is drinking, but the alcoholic still takes the drink and the hug addict still goes to someone else for more hugs.

I used to love her hugs. Now I feel like an enabler.

Although, I guess hugs are better than drugs. They’re cheaper than drugs. And you can’t overdose on hugs. Also, hugs are not illegal or prohibited (except if you are a teacher in a school in some countries, and in certain other cases such as if you are a highschool student in some countries…)

That reminds me of a tshirt from T-Shirt Hell (which they no longer sell unfortunately):

Have you hugged your kid today? (I have)

Click Here to get a Hug Dealer T-shirt

This is one of those instances where someone gets quoted “accurately,” but either the context is incorrect or some of it was left out.

Many think Frankie D. was talking about the Great Depression and pulling oneself up by their bootstraps, getting to work and igniting the fire and passion of the country again.

Actually, this was pulled from a little anecdote about how Eleanor found a spider in the bathroom at the White House and FDR refused to kill it because he was screaming like a little girl and standing on his desk in the oval office.

Be an advocate for journalistic accuracy by wearing a The Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Fear Itself… And Spiders T-shirt