Presenting the smackdown from Mexico since 1955!
Swing for the fences with this (un)official baseball t-shirt. Looking for a funny shirt? This is the Juan for you.
Now, I thought I knew baseball, but if you’re swinging at a piñata, then I’m not if connecting is a good thing or a bad thing..? I thought baseball was pretty universal, you know? crazy Mexicans!
I mean really though, why all the small talk? We should all learn to just get to the point. This shirt is a real timesaver.
If I sense she is hesitating, I usually punctuate the message with something like, “But you can only stay for a bit – I have to get up early.”
It never fails.
Since I got this shirt, I’ve retired the tried and true:
“Have you ever seen a houseplant with one leaf? I’ll bring you back to my place to look, but no touching. It’s very delicate.”
I’m a genius!
Apparently it’s funny to “heart” anything that is of an adult nature. Whether you heart beer, sluts, donkey punches or licking balls, a shirt advertising your sentiments is always hilarious.
Here’s a general one to get you started. It emcompasses all of these shirts in one classy, intellectual statement sure to impress your friends.
Show everyone how post-modern you are and (heart) heart statements.
I just went to a sexual harassment seminar and I think I’m gonna be pretty good at it now.
But not as good as Michael Scott from the office: “Times have changed a little and as much as we are a family here at Dunder Mifflin, there comes a time when the Daddy cannot take a bath with the kids anymore. I am upper management and it would be inappropriate for me to take a bath with Pam. As much as I might want to.”
He said what!?
Keep in mind, when a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $4.95 a minute.
I’ve got an ‘89 Ford Escort, a Thundercats Big Wheel, and a ‘63 version of Your Mom with red racing stripes. She really gets up and goes!
This is a shirt that just begged to be made.
And if you’re wondering about who’s mom I’m talking about, the answer is “yours”. Yes, you – reading the right now. My other ride is your mom.
How are those visuals?
C major. D Major. G major. Three simple chords that have changed the sexual fortunes of many an adolescent boy since the dawn of rock n’ roll.
There’s so much angsty material to choose from!
If you can’t get laid with these three chords, you need to practice more. Or tune your guitar, genius.
Throw in A minor and this might even work after college.
“Same great taste, less calories”
For the Jedi on the go. New Lite Saber! When you want meta-caloriens without, mega calories.
Lite Saber, same great taste less filling.
Just watch out – the new slim can is shaped like a real light saber, and you sure don’t want to slam one of them down your throat unless you want a brief burn sensation followed by a permanent dying sensation.
Today’s forecast: partly cloudy, with a 100% chance of me getting wasted.
Tomorrow’s forecast: Fine, with a 100% chance of me getting wasted.
Pretty much for the next month, I’m a bit hazy on what the weather is doing, but I know what I’ll be doing!
It really makes you think… My mum thinks I work on Wall St, but I pretty much write a t-shirt blog, drink gin for breakfast and smoke fatties all day.
Not those kind of fatties… I’m talking about weed!
Get a Partly Cloudy With A 100% Chance Of Me Getting Wasted T-shirt
Hella: adv., (hêlâ) The most frequently spoken word in the Northern California language, meaning: Extremely, really, very; (“Thank God LA is hella far away.”) Bay Area, CA.
This shirt is hella cool. Northern California is hella cool. That’s all I’ve got to say on the subject.
Ok, one more thing – hella is an adjective, not an adverb. Nice one Bay Area, California. I guess grammar isn’t that important with all that sunshine and .. homosexuality.
Yay, my 100th post. I almost feel like a real blogger.
And it’s customary for a blogger to post 100 things about themselves for their 100th post. However, as my regular readers are probably away, I’m super lazy, so here’s 10 things about me:
1. I am not American.
2. I am on Twitter.
3. I am not a girl.
4. I am a casual vegetarian.
5. I rarely swear on others blogs, but find it hard not to on my own.
6. I am a coffee addict. Good espresso coffee; not instant.
7. I love this song and this girl.
8. I am self employed; my business card says “Gentleman of Independent Means”.
9. I actually have dozens of other blogs; see if you can find them!
10. I’m over making this list already.
Maybe for my 200th post, I’ll see if I can come up with 20 things to tell you about.