“Same great taste, less calories”
For the Jedi on the go. New Lite Saber! When you want meta-caloriens without, mega calories.
Lite Saber, same great taste less filling.
Just watch out – the new slim can is shaped like a real light saber, and you sure don’t want to slam one of them down your throat unless you want a brief burn sensation followed by a permanent dying sensation.
“Promoting New Communities and Creating Jobs!”
But as Randal pointed out in Clerks, the first Death Star was manned by the Imperial army. The only people on board were Storm troopers, Dignitaries, Imperialists. So when they blew it up, no problem – evil’s punished.
The second time around it wasn’t even done beind built yet. It was still under construction. A construction job of that magnitude would require a hell of lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I’ll bet they brought independent contractors in on that thing. Plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers.
In order to get it built quickly and quietly, they’d hire anybody that could do the job. You think the average Storm Trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All’s they know is killing and white uniforms. So, they bring in independent contractors.
All those innocent contractors brought in to do the job are killed, casualties of a war they had nothing to do with.
So whilst the Empire are promoting new communities and creating jobs, there is a slight chance of death at the hands of left-wing militants.
I’d just finished watching Super Troopers for like the one hundredth time and decided to drop in to Burger King for lunch and a bit of fun.
I walked confidently up to the counter and ordered a Double Whopper with Bacon and a “liter o’ cola”.
The snot-nose kid behind the register simply rings up the burger plus a King-size Coke.
So I told him: “I don’t want a King-size Coke. I want a god damn liter o’ cola!”
He calmly procedes to explain to me that a King-Size softdrink is in fact 33 ounces, which it almost exactly one liter. And as Coca-cola is a cola drink, in a sense he was indeed giving me a liter-o-cola.
That’s when I screamed “Damn it, you burger punk”, dove across the counter and proceded to punch-a-size his face.
I won’t be returning to Burger King again for awhile. Well, not that Burger King anyways…
Gen-Xers like myself will remember the classic phrase “Transformers – robots in disguise” from the TV show back in the day.
Gen-Yers will laugh and clap with slack-jawed glee at the latest series of movies.
Now that Michael Bay has made the Transformers franchise an even larger international phenomenon, the poor Autobots need to deploy a series of new technologies to blend in.
Godspeed, you brave metallic chameleons.
Get a Robots In Disguise T-shirt
Very deceptive!
The TOP 10 Things We Want To Hear Samuel L. Jackson, “JediMaster Mace Windu”, say in the Star Wars Prequel:
10. You don’t need to see my goddamn identification, ’cause these ain’t the motherfuckin’ droids you’re looking for.
9. Womp rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I’ll never know, ’cause I wouldn’t eat the filthy motherfucker.
8. This is your father’s lightsaber. When you absolutely, positively, have to kill every motherfuckin’ stormtrooper in the room… accept no substitutes.
7. If Obi-wan ain’t home then I don’t know what the fuck we’re gonna do. I ain’t got no other connections on Tattooine.
6. Feel the Force, motherfucker.
5. ‘What’ ain’t no planet I’ve ever heard of! Do they speak Bocce on ‘What’?
4. You sendin’ the Fett? Shit, Hutt, that’s all you had to say!
3. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that the motherfucker’s a carpet. Yeah Chewie got a hair problem. What’s the brother gonna do? He’s a wookie.
2. Does Jabba the Hutt look like a bitch?
1. Hand me my lightsaber… it’s the one that says, “Bad Motherfucker” on it.
Get a My Lightsaber Is The One That Says Bad Motherfucker T-shirt
Evil lolcat asks "wai so srs?" before he kills you!
Rumour has it, Evil lolcat is up for a posthumous Academy Award for this t-shirt.
See, I don’t get that. I don’t think this t-shirt is any more outstanding that Captain Jack Lolcat’s performance as a camp pirate. I guess getting run over by that car was the best career move Evil lolcat ever made…
Yesterday, a thought occurred to me:
“I wonder if the guy in the red uniform has his own shirt?”
Well, today I found it!
Kirk & Spock & Bones and some guy in a Red Shirt, soon to be some Dead guy in a Red Shirt.
It’s always the guy in the red uniform that dies when they beam down to a planet’s surface. The new Star Trek movie sticks to the formula because, well, it’s hilarious!
Show your away team spirit with this awesome tee. Just don’t get a red one if you can help it…
If you always wondered why Klingons have that ridged forehead, then wonder no longer. Just like a Trojan in a gold box, Klingons are ribbed for her pleasure.
And if you really had always wondered why Klingons have that ridged head, then I gotta question you’re upbringing. I mean, seriously! Who looks at a Klingon and thinks to themselves “Wow! That is an especially elegant example of evolution! But, what up with the ridged head..?”
I remember reading once that Klingons have an extra of all vital organs. Does this mean they have two penises…? While researching this question, I came across the following:
Don’t you wish.
No, Klingons do not have two penises. The system redundancy manifests itself as a second pair of testicles. However, if it’s any consolation, the Klingon penis is as ridged and hard as the Klingon forehead. The forehead may just be evolution’s way of advertising; “ribbed for her pleasure.”
Everyone’s a Trekie! The tee features the Star Wars gang – Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Darth Vader, Minch Yoda – enjoying some old school Star Trek.
I finally saw the new Star Trek movie last night, and it reminded me – it’s always the guy in the red uniform that dies when they beam down to a planet’s surface. I said to my girlfriend “I bet that guy eats it in the next five minutes.”
Ok, ok… it was my mom. My girlfriend is outta town. On a photo shoot… in the Bahamas. Why are we talking about me? I’m not on trial here! We were talking about Star Trek!
Hmm, I wonder if the red uniform guy has his own shirt.
So you helped save the galaxy, reunited long lost twins, saved friends from certain death and restored peace and democracy to countless worlds…
“R2 – we have a clean up on isle three.”
What’s a droid to do?
With this shirt we pay homage to the great work of these and other droids.
This fun tee is ready to wear to the most intense partying, gaming or just chillin out.
How chillin is it? Think of Hoth, only cooler.