Sep 01

Liter o' Cola I’d just finished watching Super Troopers for like the one hundredth time and decided to drop in to Burger King for lunch and a bit of fun.

I walked confidently up to the counter and ordered a Double Whopper with Bacon and a “liter o’ cola”.

The snot-nose kid behind the register simply rings up the burger plus a King-size Coke.

So I told him: “I don’t want a King-size Coke. I want a god damn liter o’ cola!”

He calmly procedes to explain to me that a King-Size softdrink is in fact 33 ounces, which it almost exactly one liter. And as Coca-cola is a cola drink, in a sense he was indeed giving me a liter-o-cola.

That’s when I screamed “Damn it, you burger punk”, dove across the counter and proceded to punch-a-size his face.

I won’t be returning to Burger King again for awhile. Well, not that Burger King anyways…

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Aug 14

Robots In Disguise Gen-Xers like myself will remember the classic phrase “Transformers – robots in disguise” from the TV show back in the day.

Gen-Yers will laugh and clap with slack-jawed glee at the latest series of movies.

Now that Michael Bay has made the Transformers franchise an even larger international phenomenon, the poor Autobots need to deploy a series of new technologies to blend in.

Godspeed, you brave metallic chameleons.

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Very deceptive!

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Jun 02

I Recycle Boys I bet you didn’t know that boys could be recycled? We all know it is important to recycle cans, paper and plastic, but it is equally important to recycle boys! Because otherwise boys can be bad for the environment.

One woman’s trash is another woman’s treasure.

So use ‘em, abuse ‘em and move on to the next one. Boys are biodegradeable, anyway. They turn into sludge in about twenty years, so recycling them is good for nature.

Besides, I don’t think I could point to one boy that wouldn’t mind being “recycled” from time to time.

Ladies is players too! Just do it and help your local eco-system.

Click Here to get an I Recycle Boys T-shirt

Related Shirts:
Ladies is Pimps Too It's Not PMS It's You I'll Be Using These To My Advantage I French Canadians Sorry For Being So Fucking Sexy He Loves The Cock
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May 19

My Other Shirt Is At Your Mom's House Oh hey, did you see this? Cameron Diaz is on the latest cover of the new Vogue magazine and she has apparently decided to stop looking hot and start looking like your mom.

On that note, can I come to your house for dinner? After my last visit to your mom’s house I have seemed to have misplaced my shirt. Would you be able to have a look at it for me? It’s probably rolled up into a ball… on her bedroom floor. Zing!

Burn your friends and family alike. Wait – maybe not your family. In fact, it’s definitely not an appropriate t-shirt to wear to your own family gathering. Your friends’ however – totally ok.

Click Here to get a My Other Shirt Is At Your Mom’s House T-shirt

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May 11

G.I. Jose - A Real Mexican Hero “Wait a minute keedz! Don’t go swimming in that old quarry. Eet’s dangerous. Hey, do you guys want to buy some gum, or cotton candy, or a stuffed animal. How about an inflatable mallet huh? Thees ees fun! You can hit your friend on the head with it. But don’t hit him on the head with it! You got any dents you need hammered out?”

G.I. Jose – a real Mexican hero! I cried with laughter when I first saw this guy on Family Guy. I used to hate those stupid G.I. Joe public service announcements on Youtube. I still hate them now, I just hated them then, too.

Oh yeah, and do you know why can’t Mexicans be fire fighters? Because they can’t tell José from hose B.

Click Here to get a G.I. Jose – A Real Mexican Hero T-shirt

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May 10

Hangovers - God's Way Of Saying You Kicked Ass Last Night Have you ever had one of those weekends where, come Monday morning, you find yourself in your office, with what seems to be a second heartbeat in your head that’s so loud, it’s actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube?

I currently have Vodka vapor seeping out of every pore and making me dizzy. My body has lost the ability to generate saliva and my tongue is trying to suffocating me. I’d cry, but that would take the last of the moisture left in my body. Death seems pretty good right now.

The only consolation right now is that the man up stairs is currently giving me a thumbs up for kicking ass last night.

Click Here to get a Hangovers – God’s Way Of Saying You Kicked Ass Last Night T-shirt

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