“Same great taste, less calories”
For the Jedi on the go. New Lite Saber! When you want meta-caloriens without, mega calories.
Lite Saber, same great taste less filling.
Just watch out – the new slim can is shaped like a real light saber, and you sure don’t want to slam one of them down your throat unless you want a brief burn sensation followed by a permanent dying sensation.
A headcrab is a fictional alien parasitoid found in the Half-Life video game series created by Valve Software. They are the most numerous and arguably most iconic aliens in the series.
If you think it likely you may encounter one of these little suckers in your day to day travels, the Crowbar 3000 is the ultimate in current anti-Headcrab technology. Should a Headcrab affix itself to your head, beat repeatedly with the Crowbar 3000 until it lets go.
In fact, even after it leats go, it wouldn’t hurt to give yourself another couple of smacks to prevent future outbreaks.
Also, if you live in a desolate dorm room, you can also use the crowbar to pry open the vending machine and get your mountain dew/dorito fix.
The TOP 10 Things We Want To Hear Samuel L. Jackson, “JediMaster Mace Windu”, say in the Star Wars Prequel:
10. You don’t need to see my goddamn identification, ’cause these ain’t the motherfuckin’ droids you’re looking for.
9. Womp rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I’ll never know, ’cause I wouldn’t eat the filthy motherfucker.
8. This is your father’s lightsaber. When you absolutely, positively, have to kill every motherfuckin’ stormtrooper in the room… accept no substitutes.
7. If Obi-wan ain’t home then I don’t know what the fuck we’re gonna do. I ain’t got no other connections on Tattooine.
6. Feel the Force, motherfucker.
5. ‘What’ ain’t no planet I’ve ever heard of! Do they speak Bocce on ‘What’?
4. You sendin’ the Fett? Shit, Hutt, that’s all you had to say!
3. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that the motherfucker’s a carpet. Yeah Chewie got a hair problem. What’s the brother gonna do? He’s a wookie.
2. Does Jabba the Hutt look like a bitch?
1. Hand me my lightsaber… it’s the one that says, “Bad Motherfucker” on it.
Get a My Lightsaber Is The One That Says Bad Motherfucker T-shirt
Evil lolcat asks "wai so srs?" before he kills you!
Rumour has it, Evil lolcat is up for a posthumous Academy Award for this t-shirt.
See, I don’t get that. I don’t think this t-shirt is any more outstanding that Captain Jack Lolcat’s performance as a camp pirate. I guess getting run over by that car was the best career move Evil lolcat ever made…
It was only a matter of time before game designers made our dreams of becoming rock gods come true… well, at least in the comfort of our own living rooms.
Guitar Hero came first, addicting an entire generation. Now we have Rock Band, bringing drums and vocals into the mix.
But for any of use not born in the 80s, the games can be frustrating. Not possessing the digital coordination that the Generation Whiners have, the games are all but unplayable.
Until along came Cowbell Hero. Every song ever written could use a little more cowbell.
This Twitter themed t-shirt sums up everything I feel about the latest online social networking craze.
You don’t need a lot of letters to say, “fuck you!” In fact, you only need 7 of ‘em.
The “I don’t need 140 characters to say fuck you” t-shirt is ironic, since Sunshine Megatron himself tweets a tweet every time he takes a tinkle.
Still though, this shirt is pretty funny. For all of you annoyed with the recent Twitter craze, get this t-shirt.
If you always wondered why Klingons have that ridged forehead, then wonder no longer. Just like a Trojan in a gold box, Klingons are ribbed for her pleasure.
And if you really had always wondered why Klingons have that ridged head, then I gotta question you’re upbringing. I mean, seriously! Who looks at a Klingon and thinks to themselves “Wow! That is an especially elegant example of evolution! But, what up with the ridged head..?”
I remember reading once that Klingons have an extra of all vital organs. Does this mean they have two penises…? While researching this question, I came across the following:
Don’t you wish.
No, Klingons do not have two penises. The system redundancy manifests itself as a second pair of testicles. However, if it’s any consolation, the Klingon penis is as ridged and hard as the Klingon forehead. The forehead may just be evolution’s way of advertising; “ribbed for her pleasure.”
If someone who has sex is sexually active, someone who texts a lot is known as textually active.
And I suppose if you send naked pictures of yourself a lot, then you’d be sextually active, and I would ask that you join my mailing list… for scientific purposes.
I’ve seen textually active teens who can have a verbal conversation with someone and text a separate conversation at the same time. I still have trouble warming up tv dinners in the microwave. But I have perfected the art of photographing my junk so that it looks bigger than it actually is.
Are you textually active? If you have big skills on small keys, this tee is for you.
“Go for Emporer Palpatine.
“Vader – how’s my favorite Sith? Woah woah woah – just slow down! Huh? What do you mean they blew up the Death Star? Who’s they!?
“What the hell is an Aluminium Falcon?!
“Okay, okay… so who’s left? Are you shitting me!? Well, where are you? Wait a sec – you’ve been flying around for two weeks trying to get a signal? Oh, you must smell like feet wrapped in leathery, burnt bacon…
“Oh oh oh I’m sorry! I thought my dark lord of the Sith could protect a small thermal exhaust port that’s only two metres wide! That thing wasn’t even fully paid off yet! Do you have any idea what this is going to do to my credit?
“What? Oh, “just rebuild it”? Real fucking original! Who’s going to give me a loan, jack-hole? You? You got an ATM on that torso light-bright?
“Now get your 7′2″ asthmatic ass back here, or I’m going to tell everyone what a whiny bitch you were about Pada-mommy or Panda Bear or whatever the hell her name is.”
Click Here to get a What the Hell is an Aluminium Falcon? T-shirt
This is a twist on the “Don’t Tase Me Bro” shirt that became so popular after University of Florida student Andrew Meyer played grab-ass with the local cops after haranguing Massachusetts senator John Kerry.
Now, I haven’t seen the new Star Trek movie, but I’m pretty sure “Don’t Phase Me Bro” is a quote from it, possibly made by some rotund, 4-foot alien upon encountering a far less rotund Captain Kirk than I am used to seeing. Hilarity no doubt ensues, and I look forward to seeing it on Youtube.
This shirt is a must have for away teams and landing parties.