Runway T-shirts

Ever since I left home, I’ve been looking for a girl who can handle my load.

Now I’m a big boy, so my load is quite sizeable. It’s going to take a special kind of gal to handle it. She doesn’t have to be a big girl herself – she just needs a bit of experience, you know, handling loads. Not too much experience, mind you… Girls with that kind of experience generally have questionable hygiene and a bit of a reputation.

I suppose I’ll just have to continue my search.

It sure would be nice to find a girl who can handle my load… Maybe wearing this t-shirt will help? Maybe…

It seems this shirt is no longer available, but check out the related shirts below.

Jagshemash! My name a Borat. I like you. I like sex, it’s nice. These are my country of a Kazakhstan.

Wow Wow Wee Waa! This is one of the best shirts ever. Yes, I like. Can I buy you? Is nice! This is understood?

A very nice! Let’s make sexy time. How much? My sister – she’s a prostitute. She like to make money, high five! Her vagine hang like a sleeve of wizard.

My moustache still tastes of your testes!

Inspired by the ambassador of Kazakhstan, Borat. All the prostitutes will compete for your affection as you stroll through your village. In my country, they would go crazy for this tee. High Five! Everyone in Kazakhstan must have this shirt. Great t-shirt for Borat fans, no matter what country you’re from.

Click Here to get an A Very Nice – How Much? T-shirt

“I don’t know how to put this but I’m kind of a big deal. People know me. I’m very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.”

How many times have you said this to strangers? If it’s one time or more, your life has been affected by a little movie called Anchorman. For reference purposes, here are some golden insults to lock away for your next argument, or whenever you see fit:

1. You are a smelly pirate hooker.
2. Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?
3. You’ve got a dirty whorish mouth.
4. You’re a real hooker. I’m gonna slap you in public.
5. Where did you get those clothes, at the toilet store?
6. I’m going to punch you in the ovary, a straight shot right to the babymaker.
7. I am a man. I’m a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That’s what kind of man I am. You’re just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It’s science.

Of course, you’re only going to be able to argue with women… Otherwise, you’ll look like a real blueberry!

Click Here to get a You Are A Smelly Pirate Hooker T-shirt

Pimpin’ is easy man – you just need to get yourself a hoe. Owning a hoe is what constitutes being a pimp. They go hand in hand, like puppies and chainsaws.

You’ve got to know where to look. Lounging around some skanky bar looking for your regular old prostitute isn’t going to cut it. You’ve got to look where you’d least expect it. Like the library. Or the car wash. Or the United States Supreme Court.

Keep an eye out for hoe material. Sure signs of a hoe-worthy female are tight pants, low cleavage, and big signs that say “Hi. Would you like to have sex with me?”

If you see a nice-looking lady, make sure to approach her and talk to her. She doesn’t count as a hoe unless you tell her about it. Start to sweet talk her, maybe buy her a drink, then drop her this line:

“SEX ME WOMAN!”

Works like a charm.

Pimpin’s like poker – it’s a hard way to make an easy living, dawg. But if you keep that pimp hand strong and lay the smack down when needs be laid, your life is a dream.

So get this, it turns out pimping IS easy! Biggie and Snoop have been dead wrong all these years.

Click Here to get a Turns Out Pimpin’ Is Easy T-shirt

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Get with the program, people. MILFs are so over. They were left behind in the 90’s with the original American Pie movie, dial-up Internet, and Family Matters.

The new millennium brings with it women of age, wisdom, and sexual experience. Everyone raise an ice cold frosty brew to those silver foxes with silver boxes.

Besides, Britney Spears will be one in a couple of years and the line starts behind me, you bastards!

Click Here to get a GILF T-shirt

I don’t think I need to explain this T-shirt. That’s like asking Michelangelo why he painted the Sistine Chapel.

There is no how or why to true art. Except for the part where I love breasts.

Ladies, this shirt is worn to best effect when used in conjunction with no bra. When used thus, this shirt can be a real winner. Although it’s safe to say the real winner here is society. Well that, and penises.

Happy International Women’s Day everyone!

Click Here to get an I’ll Be Using These To My Advantage T-shirt

Continuing with our International Women’s Day theme, we move on to the ever-classy “I Should Be In The Kitchen” because a.) I’m that awesome, and b.) it’s a scientific fact.

I mean, it’s a scientific fact I’m that awesome. Not that women belong in the kitchen. Because that’d be sexist! Jeez, I can’t believe your mind works like that. And on International Women’s Day as well. For shame!

Click Here to get an I Should Be In The Kitchen T-shirt

According to Wikipedia, “International Working Woman’s Day (IWD) is marked on March 8 every year. It is a major day of global celebration for the economic, political and social achievements of women.”

In an act of solidarity with our sisters around the world, Runway T-shirts will present three International Women’s Day themed shirts today, the first of which supports those brave, front-line women: single moms!

It’s a tough job people – table dancing and raising the kids solo. So raise your middle finger to all those dead-beat dads out there and wear one of these shirts proudly on International Women’s Day!

Click Here to get an I Support Single Moms T-shirt