I’ve got an ‘89 Ford Escort, a Thundercats Big Wheel, and a ‘63 version of Your Mom with red racing stripes. She really gets up and goes!
This is a shirt that just begged to be made.
And if you’re wondering about who’s mom I’m talking about, the answer is “yours”. Yes, you – reading the right now. My other ride is your mom.
How are those visuals?
“Promoting New Communities and Creating Jobs!”
But as Randal pointed out in Clerks, the first Death Star was manned by the Imperial army. The only people on board were Storm troopers, Dignitaries, Imperialists. So when they blew it up, no problem – evil’s punished.
The second time around it wasn’t even done beind built yet. It was still under construction. A construction job of that magnitude would require a hell of lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I’ll bet they brought independent contractors in on that thing. Plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers.
In order to get it built quickly and quietly, they’d hire anybody that could do the job. You think the average Storm Trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All’s they know is killing and white uniforms. So, they bring in independent contractors.
All those innocent contractors brought in to do the job are killed, casualties of a war they had nothing to do with.
So whilst the Empire are promoting new communities and creating jobs, there is a slight chance of death at the hands of left-wing militants.
Poor Pluto spent years with planetary status only to have in yanked away by an uncaring scientific community.
Now, the other planets laugh at it. And so do the other whatever it’s classified as now. Pluto is like the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer of our solar system.
Whatever the so-called “scientific” community tell us, I still believe in my heart that Pluto is a planet. The teachers at my school wouldn’t have told us things that weren’t correct, would they?
Don’t worry about it Pluto, you’ll always be a planet to me.
Click Here to get a It’s Okay Pluto I’m Not A Planet Either T-shirt
As much as I love ninjas – in well, comparison to Pirates, that is – they can be real jerks sometimes.
If your family have been killed by ninjas, you’ve got a long, hard road ahead of you if you want some payback. Ninjas are masters of the dark arts, so if you want payback, you’re gonna have to work hard for it.
So if someone could chip in with a bit of cash for karate lessons, that’d be a real helping hand.
Click Here to get a Need Money For Karate Lessons – Ninjas Killed My Family T-shirt
Aww shit! Get your towels ready, it’s about to go down. Everybody in the place hit the fuckin’ deck, but stay on your motherfuckin’ toes. We runnin this, let’s go!
I’m on a Boat!
Awesome. Just, awesome! Did you know this song made it into the top 10 charts in New Zealand? Goes to show the depth of musical talent in that country I suppose…
I literally have the body of a God! Unfortunately, it’s Buddha…
I’m pretty sure that Buddha technically isn’t a god. And, in fact, I’m pretty sure God doesn’t actually have a body. So perhaps this t-shirt is a moot point. Whatever the case, it certainly appears to the lowest common denominator. I certainly got a chuckle out of it.
Now, to spoil everyone’s fun, the real Buddha almost certainly wasn’t a fatty.
Buddha means “one who has achieved a state of perfect enlightenment” and there are several people who have been given the title. The original Buddha, Siddhartha Gautama, lived from around 560BC to 480BC, but it was not until around 127 BC that statues actually depicting him became prevalent. Of course, by then, nobody knew what he really looked like. He was from a noble family, and althought he had been described as tall, slender, and of “manly build” (a lot like me, in fact) he may have grown in girth simply because that is what people expected “Nobles” to look like.
Well what do you know? You might actually learned something today. And from a comedy t-shirt website of all places…
I feel so dirty!
Click Here to get an I Have The Body Of A God T-shirt and worshipers will constantly be kissing your feet.
Get on board the latest Martial Arts craze to sweep the nation – Mixed Martial Arts and Crafts!
Think you’re a hard-ass? Then forget Muay Thai, quit Aikido, and give up on Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. These days, the master ninja strikes quickly, kicks your ass, knits you an ugly sweater, then fades away without a trace.
And don’t forget, you don’t get to start work on pottery until you are a black belt.
Trying explaining this one to your parents!
That’s not a bad batting average for abstinence, so I really don’t want to rub it in the evangelical’s and fundamentalist’s faces… but it does throw the whole unwanted pregnancy, abortion, Roe vs. Wade, condoms, pope, adoption thing out of whack slightly, when the one out of a billion conceptions from abstinence turns out to be the Messiah. That does tend to blow the remaining 0.01% out of proportion.
This is one of those instances where someone gets quoted “accurately,” but either the context is incorrect or some of it was left out.
Many think Frankie D. was talking about the Great Depression and pulling oneself up by their bootstraps, getting to work and igniting the fire and passion of the country again.
Actually, this was pulled from a little anecdote about how Eleanor found a spider in the bathroom at the White House and FDR refused to kill it because he was screaming like a little girl and standing on his desk in the oval office.
Be an advocate for journalistic accuracy by wearing a The Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Fear Itself… And Spiders T-shirt