Runway T-shirts

Here’s a clever way to offend people in the social media age: the Facebook Sex With Your Girlfriend T-Shirt.

It really doesn’t need an explanation, but the story goes like this: You’re on Facebook, you post a status update, all of your friends have the option of ‘liking’ it.

So, 74 people ‘like’ sex with your girlfriend? Zing! What does that say about her?

It’s a great ‘your girlfriends a ho’ diss t-shirt, especially for Facebook fans and honestly, who isn’t one these days? The design is basic, but it needs to be to achieve the Facebook look and feel, which it nails (like your girlfriend).

You’ll get hours of fun offending your friends, and their girlfriends.

Get a Sex With Your Girlfriend 74 People Like This T-shirt

Everyone is happy to open their house to a stranger who brings them gifts once a year.

Those same people would probably not be happy to open their house to an active S&M aficionado and participant, but so far there have been no questions about what activities Santa and the misses enjoy on his own time.

Think about it – by the time Santa gets to the west coast of the United States, he’s been working solidly for 24 hours. I bet he’d gagging to blow off a bit of steam.

Note to self – holiday in Australia this Christmas…

Get a Xmasochist T-shirt

This shurt iz for thoze of you out there that help educait our younginz. Education be important. Me so glad to have had gooder teachers than anybody else in school. Pleeze show that your the bestest teecher out their.

Why am I talking like a lolcat?

The fact is, all Primary or Elementary School teachers went to university to “re-cap” on their early education; that “reading, writing and ‘rithmetic didn’t quite stick the first time around, so they figured they’d do it again before heading out into the big world to secure a job. Unfortunately, they are then funneled into the education department.

This is scientific fact, people!

You see shows like The Simpsons and have a laugh at Mrs Krabappel and Miss Hoover who are counting down the hours until the end of class more even more anticipation than the children. Art imitates life, what more can I say?

Get a Worlds Goodest Teecher T-shirt

I did a search for “curse words list” and came up with this site. According to their “List of Curse Words” generator, their Top 10 according to visitor votes are:

1. fuck
2. homework
3. George W. Bush
4. assramming hamster fucker
5. cunt
6. shitting dick nipples
7. fucktard
8. motherfucking shitfaced whore
9. assbitch hoebag
10. Al Gore

Clearly their visitors are a bunch of juvenile idiot assholes. And even though it’s redundant when used alongside the word “cunt”, I was happy to see Dubya making the cut. That guy truly was a Dick Nipple Shitting Assramming Cunt.

But I digress.

I love a good t-shirt that puts the curse word debate back where it belongs; right in peoples’ fucking faces. TshirtHell, known for their retarded, offensively I’m-trying-to-offend-my-parents funny t-shirts, has a new one that does just that. “Don’t Curse” is a clever shirt that neatly conceals the bad words inside the Goody Two Shoes message.

Get a Don’t Curse T-shirt

There’s one sure-fire way of getting lucky this Christmas. And that’s putting out for Santa!

Cookies, that is! What were you thinking of..?

If you think you might have made the naughty list this year, you can tip the scales in your favor by putting out for Santa this Christmas!

Of course, if you don’t have cookies, maybe you can think of something else Santa might like… or need?

Insulin perhaps? As of late, the toll that all the cookies and milk Santa has been eating over the years is quickly spelling big time health problems for the jolly man. As reported by his doctor, Mr. Claus’ blood sugar levels have been peaking; it is up to us to help save Santa! So instead of leaving cookies and milk, be a help to Santa and leave him a nice big syringe full of insulin. Yum!

Get an I Put Out For Santa T-shirt

I mean really though, why all the small talk? We should all learn to just get to the point. This shirt is a real timesaver.

If I sense she is hesitating, I usually punctuate the message with something like, “But you can only stay for a bit – I have to get up early.”

It never fails.

Since I got this shirt, I’ve retired the tried and true:

“Have you ever seen a houseplant with one leaf? I’ll bring you back to my place to look, but no touching. It’s very delicate.”

I’m a genius!

Get a Let’s Go Back To My Place (For Sex) T-shirt

I just went to a sexual harassment seminar and I think I’m gonna be pretty good at it now.

But not as good as Michael Scott from the office: “Times have changed a little and as much as we are a family here at Dunder Mifflin, there comes a time when the Daddy cannot take a bath with the kids anymore. I am upper management and it would be inappropriate for me to take a bath with Pam. As much as I might want to.”

He said what!?

Keep in mind, when a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $4.95 a minute.

Get an I Could Use A Little Sexual Harassment T-shirt

Today’s forecast: partly cloudy, with a 100% chance of me getting wasted.

Tomorrow’s forecast: Fine, with a 100% chance of me getting wasted.

Pretty much for the next month, I’m a bit hazy on what the weather is doing, but I know what I’ll be doing!

It really makes you think… My mum thinks I work on Wall St, but I pretty much write a t-shirt blog, drink gin for breakfast and smoke fatties all day.

Not those kind of fatties… I’m talking about weed!

Get a Partly Cloudy With A 100% Chance Of Me Getting Wasted T-shirt

This Twitter themed t-shirt sums up everything I feel about the latest online social networking craze.

You don’t need a lot of letters to say, “fuck you!” In fact, you only need 7 of ‘em.

The “I don’t need 140 characters to say fuck you” t-shirt is ironic, since Sunshine Megatron himself tweets a tweet every time he takes a tinkle.

Still though, this shirt is pretty funny. For all of you annoyed with the recent Twitter craze, get this t-shirt.

Get a I Don’t Need 140 Characters To Say Fuck You T-shirt

Wit this t-shirt, you can let everyone know that they shouldn’t judge all white people based just off of you.

And if you don’t already have it, do yourself a favor and grab a copy of the NoFX track Don’t Call Me White, off the Punk In Drublic album:

The connotations wearing my nerves thin
Could it be semantics generating the mess we’re in?
I understand that language breeds stereotype
But what’s the explanation for the malice, for the spite?

I wasn’t brought here, I was born
Circumsized, categorized, allegiance sworn,
Does this mean I have to take such shit
For being fairskinned? No!
I ain’t a part of no conspiracy,
I’m just you’re average Joe.

We’re better off this way
Say what you’re gonna say
So go ahead and label me
An asshole cause I can
Accept responsibility, for what I’ve done
But not for who I am

Click Here to get a Not an Accurate Representation of White People T-shirt