Runway T-shirts

I bet you didn’t know that boys could be recycled? We all know it is important to recycle cans, paper and plastic, but it is equally important to recycle boys! Because otherwise boys can be bad for the environment.

One woman’s trash is another woman’s treasure.

So use ‘em, abuse ‘em and move on to the next one. Boys are biodegradeable, anyway. They turn into sludge in about twenty years, so recycling them is good for nature.

Besides, I don’t think I could point to one boy that wouldn’t mind being “recycled” from time to time.

Ladies is players too! Just do it and help your local eco-system.

Click Here to get an I Recycle Boys T-shirt

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Ever since I left home, I’ve been looking for a girl who can handle my load.

Now I’m a big boy, so my load is quite sizeable. It’s going to take a special kind of gal to handle it. She doesn’t have to be a big girl herself – she just needs a bit of experience, you know, handling loads. Not too much experience, mind you… Girls with that kind of experience generally have questionable hygiene and a bit of a reputation.

I suppose I’ll just have to continue my search.

It sure would be nice to find a girl who can handle my load… Maybe wearing this t-shirt will help? Maybe…

It seems this shirt is no longer available, but check out the related shirts below.

Jagshemash! My name a Borat. I like you. I like sex, it’s nice. These are my country of a Kazakhstan.

Wow Wow Wee Waa! This is one of the best shirts ever. Yes, I like. Can I buy you? Is nice! This is understood?

A very nice! Let’s make sexy time. How much? My sister – she’s a prostitute. She like to make money, high five! Her vagine hang like a sleeve of wizard.

My moustache still tastes of your testes!

Inspired by the ambassador of Kazakhstan, Borat. All the prostitutes will compete for your affection as you stroll through your village. In my country, they would go crazy for this tee. High Five! Everyone in Kazakhstan must have this shirt. Great t-shirt for Borat fans, no matter what country you’re from.

Click Here to get an A Very Nice – How Much? T-shirt

“I don’t know how to put this but I’m kind of a big deal. People know me. I’m very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.”

How many times have you said this to strangers? If it’s one time or more, your life has been affected by a little movie called Anchorman. For reference purposes, here are some golden insults to lock away for your next argument, or whenever you see fit:

1. You are a smelly pirate hooker.
2. Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?
3. You’ve got a dirty whorish mouth.
4. You’re a real hooker. I’m gonna slap you in public.
5. Where did you get those clothes, at the toilet store?
6. I’m going to punch you in the ovary, a straight shot right to the babymaker.
7. I am a man. I’m a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That’s what kind of man I am. You’re just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It’s science.

Of course, you’re only going to be able to argue with women… Otherwise, you’ll look like a real blueberry!

Click Here to get a You Are A Smelly Pirate Hooker T-shirt

Get with the program, people. MILFs are so over. They were left behind in the 90’s with the original American Pie movie, dial-up Internet, and Family Matters.

The new millennium brings with it women of age, wisdom, and sexual experience. Everyone raise an ice cold frosty brew to those silver foxes with silver boxes.

Besides, Britney Spears will be one in a couple of years and the line starts behind me, you bastards!

Click Here to get a GILF T-shirt

Urban dictionary definition: The placement of one’s face, specifically the mouth, into the area between a well-endowed woman’s breasts, followed by a rapid shaking of the face in a side-to-side motion accompanied by yelling. The resulting sound that is created sounds similar to an outboard boat motor.

Bro, last night i motorboated that girl!
HAHA you motorboating son of a bitch!

Why the hell have I not heard of this phenomenon? Well, it’s not that I haven’t heard of it – I just wasn’t aware that it had a name!

So, as part of my personal development journey, here are some things to stop doing immediately (revised):

1. Forgetting to wear pants. Motorboating pregnant women.
2. Drinking alone.
3. Telling people what I ate for lunch on my Facebook status.

Click Here to get an I Love Motorboating T-shirt

Friedrich Engels’ book The Origin of the Family, Private Property, and the State (1845) addressed issues that many “Marxists” had not (they were more interested in workers’ oppression, not women’s oppression). It showed how changes in the material conditions of people affect the organization of their family relations. Engels argued that monogamous marriage is a social institution that has nothing to do with love and everything to do with private property. He wrote that if women are to be truly emancipated from men, they must be economically independent.

Contemporary Marxists Feminists, as I have seen it, don’t usually deal directly with reproductive or sexual concerns, i.e. contraception, sterilization, abortion, pornography, prostitution, sexual harassment, rape, and woman battering, like, say a radical feminist might. They seem to be more focused on things like the concerns of working women. They help us to understand how the institution of family is related to capitalism; how women’s domestic work is trivialized and not considered “real work”; and basically how women are given the most unfulfilling, boring, and/or low-paying jobs. These are all offered as partial explanations for gender oppression.

That reminds me of a joke: why did the woman cross the road? Who cares – the real question is, “What is she doing out of the kitchen?”

Click Here to get a My Marxist Feminist Dialectic Brings All The Boys To The Yard T-shirt

I don’t think I need to explain this T-shirt. That’s like asking Michelangelo why he painted the Sistine Chapel.

There is no how or why to true art. Except for the part where I love breasts.

Ladies, this shirt is worn to best effect when used in conjunction with no bra. When used thus, this shirt can be a real winner. Although it’s safe to say the real winner here is society. Well that, and penises.

Happy International Women’s Day everyone!

Click Here to get an I’ll Be Using These To My Advantage T-shirt

Continuing with our International Women’s Day theme, we move on to the ever-classy “I Should Be In The Kitchen” because a.) I’m that awesome, and b.) it’s a scientific fact.

I mean, it’s a scientific fact I’m that awesome. Not that women belong in the kitchen. Because that’d be sexist! Jeez, I can’t believe your mind works like that. And on International Women’s Day as well. For shame!

Click Here to get an I Should Be In The Kitchen T-shirt

According to Wikipedia, “International Working Woman’s Day (IWD) is marked on March 8 every year. It is a major day of global celebration for the economic, political and social achievements of women.”

In an act of solidarity with our sisters around the world, Runway T-shirts will present three International Women’s Day themed shirts today, the first of which supports those brave, front-line women: single moms!

It’s a tough job people – table dancing and raising the kids solo. So raise your middle finger to all those dead-beat dads out there and wear one of these shirts proudly on International Women’s Day!

Click Here to get an I Support Single Moms T-shirt