Turns Out Pimpin’ Is Easy

Pimpin’ is easy man – you just need to get yourself a hoe. Owning a hoe is what constitutes being a pimp. They go hand in hand, like puppies and chainsaws.

You’ve got to know where to look. Lounging around some skanky bar looking for your regular old prostitute isn’t going to cut it. You’ve got to look where you’d least expect it. Like the library. Or the car wash. Or the United States Supreme Court.

Keep an eye out for hoe material. Sure signs of a hoe-worthy female are tight pants, low cleavage, and big signs that say “Hi. Would you like to have sex with me?”

If you see a nice-looking lady, make sure to approach her and talk to her. She doesn’t count as a hoe unless you tell her about it. Start to sweet talk her, maybe buy her a drink, then drop her this line:

“SEX ME WOMAN!”

Works like a charm.

Pimpin’s like poker – it’s a hard way to make an easy living, dawg. But if you keep that pimp hand strong and lay the smack down when needs be laid, your life is a dream.

So get this, it turns out pimping IS easy! Biggie and Snoop have been dead wrong all these years.

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